Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sometimes I think I'm being told what I want to hear and not necessarily what will happen, actually happen. Of course I get a few 'you won't like it all the time' 'it's tough' 'you'll be pushed' etc etc. What about the times where I'll get dirt kicked in my face and the times the drill instructors "won't curse" at me. Not that I'm scared of that but I suppose I'd rather hear what will actually happen. All the bad things. I want to know what will happen. The only reason I doubt joining at times is because I know i haven't heard the 100% truth. I've heard the benefits, and what the Marines can give to me, what I can see, places I can go. But what about the feeling of lonliness, or the feeling of being forgotten, of dying, of losing friends, of having to be away from home months at a time and not knowing how to act or think, what about the times where I will feel like giving up or times that I could possibly end up breaking down. I'm used to facing things alone but this is a decision that I know I can't face by myself. I need the support. I need to know what I'm getting into. I'm ranting and my thoughts are everywhere but where exactly are they supposed to be? I have a year to doubt right? Or to be scared. And what if I ever want to start a family! I want to have military be my career and I don't know how it could work. I know it's too soon to think about this but it's something to think about. If I want the military to be part of my future than obviously I need to think about every little thing. I'm scared. Very scared. Possibly more scared than I'll ever say outloud. I need to know the hard truth in order to be prepared. I can't do this without knowing... I don't think I can, not without being 100% prepares.
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You simply can't plan for every eventuality. That's life. All you can do is set your compass for a goal and go for it. If you get there, you reset for the next goal. If you didn't manage, you can't turn back time so you reset your compass from that spot for the next phase in life. Enjoy the unpredictability. Sometimes knowing too much can be as dangerous as too little as you set expectations which may not be met.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you slowly build up your fitness with particular emphasis on hips, knees and ankles which are the weak points for females in military training. If you get an injury that's stubborn, you'll be discharged like my youngest suster. And don't knock yourself out on anything- my other sister did that with a locker door. Then later whilst fixing a jet when she forgot where she was and stood up quickly under the wing(both were British RAF).
Chill and enjoy the next year- you can't prepare mentally, only physically. Good luck!!!