Sometimes I think I'm being told what I want to hear and not necessarily what will happen, actually happen. Of course I get a few 'you won't like it all the time' 'it's tough' 'you'll be pushed' etc etc. What about the times where I'll get dirt kicked in my face and the times the drill instructors "won't curse" at me. Not that I'm scared of that but I suppose I'd rather hear what will actually happen. All the bad things. I want to know what will happen. The only reason I doubt joining at times is because I know i haven't heard the 100% truth. I've heard the benefits, and what the Marines can give to me, what I can see, places I can go. But what about the feeling of lonliness, or the feeling of being forgotten, of dying, of losing friends, of having to be away from home months at a time and not knowing how to act or think, what about the times where I will feel like giving up or times that I could possibly end up breaking down. I'm used to facing things alone but this is a decision that I know I can't face by myself. I need the support. I need to know what I'm getting into. I'm ranting and my thoughts are everywhere but where exactly are they supposed to be? I have a year to doubt right? Or to be scared. And what if I ever want to start a family! I want to have military be my career and I don't know how it could work. I know it's too soon to think about this but it's something to think about. If I want the military to be part of my future than obviously I need to think about every little thing. I'm scared. Very scared. Possibly more scared than I'll ever say outloud. I need to know the hard truth in order to be prepared. I can't do this without knowing... I don't think I can, not without being 100% prepares.

ASVAB..HOW I HATE YOU.

I never experienced something like this.. tools you are haunting me!!!!!
I know nothing about engines and cars >.<

12 weeks.

What I will experience at Parris Island, South Carolina.
Boot camp is a 12 week experience where I will face the toughest basic training of all the branches.

Week One: Receiving



Week Two: In The Barracks.



Week Three:Bayonet Assault Course



Week Four:Pugil Sticks



Week Five:Marine Corps Martial Arts. (MCMAP)



Week six:Rappelling



Week Seven:Grass Week



Week Eight:Firing Week



Week Nine:The Confidence Course



Week ten:Day Movement



Week Eleven:The Crucible.(1/4) Leadership wall



Week Eleven: The Crucible(2/4)The Planks



Week Eleven: The Crucible (3/4)Patrolling



Week Eleven:The Crucible (4/4) The Octagon



Week Twelve:Emblem Ceremony

List of fears.:

1. Dying
2. Not being able to pass the Crucible
3. Breaking a bone
4. thinking about giving up
5. giving up
6. feeling alone
7. not being able to be physically ready
8. drill instructors
9. being away from home
10. SOI and MOS.
11. Saying goodbye to my family for months at a time.
    

Drill Instructors.

My biggest fear at this time would have to be my drill instructor D:
And this ISN'T close to the real thing.

Female Marines; A true Inspiration.

As I was looking online for more information about the Marines I came across pictures of female Marines that show that women are JUST as capable as males when it comes to the Marines.
“There are no female Marines. Only Marines.”

Motivation!

I have Motivation and USMC written in places that I will see every day when I wake up.
Motivation is written in huge letters on my door so when I leave my room I know that I have something to work hard for.

Sergeant Dominguez.

I have a recruiter now! (:

He's really nice and he's Hispanic which is good because he'll know how to talk to my parents and answer their questions. He also made me think that I can really do this. I'm motivated!!!! The week has been going great. Other than being sore I'm perfectly fine(:

My Marine t-shirt(:

I love this t-shirt. It's such a motivation to wear it.

It seriously makes me feel proud to wear it, even though I'm not a Marine yet.

The more that I think about it, I know why I don't feel inspired, emotionally inspired. It has to do with the fact that I've been trying my best to forget connections with people and distance myself from emotion in order to be able to leave for USMC and not have a reason to hold myself back. It will allow me to give it my ALL with no obstacle and no extra baggage. Leaving me to be free to fulfill any goal I have. Which then gives me the inspiration to try harder and to reach for more goals, more difficult ones. Goals that I know I will achieve.

My Vision Statement :

I am the representation of a lifetime of dreams, goals, and achievements showcasing the beauty that lies within a beautiful person.

-Cristian Flores

USMC.

Many times I have thought of what i wanted to be, or what i wanted to do. The image was never clear. I've always wanted to do more and achieve more. I have the personality of someone who does want to do more than what is expected of them. Who ever would have thought that joining the Marines was something I would want to do. I've only decided this maybe a month ago but during this time I've researched and I've asked questions. Not all are fully answered. Some I feel that I won't be able to get the answer. I will admit I'm fearful of a lot of things. But what I am tending to fear the most at the moment is if I'll be able to finish.. I know I will..but truthfully I don't want to be the one who inside regrets joining. I don't believe I will but I just don't want the thought of me even remotely coming close to thinking that. I would be proud to be a Marine, especially a female marine but what do I leave behind?
I've been fearful of many things in life like height, the dark, or spiders! But when joining I know that I will be trained to remain calm in any situation, physical. How will I be ready mentally? I've read and seen the experiences of now marines and they all say there is no way to be mentally ready to go through the rigorous things that you do at boot camp. Will I lose who I've become to be? I feel as if I might be leading towards all the negatives and that is something I shouldn't be doing only because I know how much this would mean to myself. Being able to say I've seen the world and I've trained with the best.
In over a year I'll be leaving if it all works out for the best.